A couple of weeks ago I was home sick with the flu. Naturally I spent
two days laying on my couch feeling sorry for myself and watching
Property Brothers on HGTV. I love watching that show because you get a
really great sense of the human psyche.
The show starts off with two brothers in real estate helping a couple
find their "dream home". They ask the couple for their list of
"must-have's".
"Well ideally I'd like a really big, modern gourmet kitchen with an open
floor plan", the wife might say. "The kitchen needs custom cabinets
and granite counter tops. I also want high ceilings, a large master
bedroom with walk-in closets, a finished basement, and spa-like
bathrooms throughout with plenty of living space for the kids to play.
Oh, and a big, private yard". 90% of the time, the husband will also
require a "man cave" and a private working space, presumably to hide
from his over-demanding wife.
My favorite part is when the couple is asked what their budget is.
"$300,000", they might say. Undoubtedly, their expectations are
completely misaligned with reality. To prove this, the Property
Brothers show them a "move-in ready" home that meets all of their
requirements. The couple oohs and aahs at every aspect of the house.
They're later shocked and devastated to find the listing price is 2 or 3
times their budget. "Why would you do this to us?" the couple asks the
brothers in despair. The woman always looks as though she's just been
felt up in a crowded subway.
Now the reason this show hooks me is because of what occurs next. The
couple is taken to various run-down houses that smell of cat piss and
hooker spit. House after house, they grow more and more horrified and
depressed. The point of this is to show them just how far off their
expectations are. The Property Brothers explain that they can take one
of these run down houses and turn it into their dream home while
sticking to their budget. The couple reluctantly chooses a house and
commence a 5 week renovation project. Throughout the renovation, they
encounter unexpected issues and costs that force them to compromise on
their "needs". By the end, they're shocked and thrilled with the
results of the transformation. Suddenly, they realize they were able to
achieve the same levels of happiness and satisfaction with a much
smaller list of wants and needs.
It's human nature to always yearn for more. Fundamentally, I've always
set extremely high expectations with most anything in my life, which has
often resulted in my being disappointed. This has held true for jobs,
relationships, apartments, etc. This is different than goals, where you
can aim for something but are not horribly disappointed if you fall a
bit short. I guess it's because a goal is an ideal you strive for, but
not a necessity. Expectations, on the other hand, seem more concrete.
They create a sort of perceived reality in your own mind and when
they're totally out-of-whack, it ends in major disappointment.
Strangely enough, that show made me see this. And while it's not
something that can happen over night, I'm slowly but surely starting to
see how it works. Re-evaluating my "must have's" and expectations has
helped me take more risks and enjoy the successes I've already achieved.
Nothing can ever be perfect and everything comes with a compromise.
In college, it was unrealistic to expect that my career path would be
set and I'd be living happily ever after by the time I hit 30. I'm
betting I wasn't the only one who thought this way. It's probably
something that comes with age and realizing that life isn't as easy as
you once thought. And I suppose if that's one of the few perks of
adulthood, then maybe getting older won't be as bad as I expected.
